Actually, i heard from few developers on this dibo that this issue is not there for XML SOCKET SERVER and Yes Jarpa provides XML SOCKET SERVER for communication between Flash Lite and JavaME.So, u can give it a try .
The issue is there in Symbian C++ server too but C++ http server can handle 1 requests per 1+ sec and Yes! Symbian C++ is a quite serious task for me in the beginning.
Well! i will surely try my SWFxME project with this issue and report as soon as i can (i.e in 1-4 days ).One thing comes in my mind is the request per time of J2ME can be different from Symbian C++ because J2ME app is somewhat slower then C++ App.
BTW, you already know the cause of this issue , its a known pain (bug) for FL 3.x developers

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Best Regards,
SajiSoft